Exodus 32: The Veiled Ringleader
Exodus 32: The Veiled Ringleader
"But now, please forgive their sin—but if not, then blot me out of the book you have written." (Exodus 32:32, NIV)
The scene that greeted Moses upon his descent from Mount Sinai was devastating. The tablets of the Ten Commandments, inscribed by the very finger of God, lay shattered at the foot of the mountain, while the people danced before a golden calf. Enraged, Moses commanded the Levites to strap on their swords, and that day, about three thousand brothers, friends, and neighbors fell by the sword. The cost of idolatry was severe.
Yet, after this bloody purge, Moses climbed the mountain once more to make a startling proposal to God: "Blot me out." We often read this scene as an expression of a leader's boundless sense of responsibility or self-sacrificial love. However, this prayer stems from a much deeper despair, or rather, a chilling insight into his own existence.
What was the decisive reason the people made the golden calf? The Scriptures record their words: "As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don't know what has happened to him" (Exod 32:1). To them, god was not Yahweh, but the "visible Moses." The absence of Moses was equated with the absence of God. Moses had removed the idolaters within the camp with the Levites' swords, but he realized that the most fundamental cause of this catastrophe—the "living golden calf" that constantly provided the people with a pretext for idolatry—was none other than himself.
Therefore, Moses' plea to "blot me out" is neither a mere evasion of responsibility nor a sentimental sacrifice. It is a petition for the execution of the "veiled ringleader"—himself. Moses perceived that as long as he existed, Israel would inevitably rely on the "visible God (Moses)" and would eventually fall into corruption again. Thus, he sought to remove himself—the stumbling block—from the triangular structure of 'God-Moses-Israel' to establish a direct, bilateral structure of 'God-Israel.' This was the radical and logical Solution he envisioned.
But God rejected Moses' resignation. "Go, lead the people to the place I spoke of" (v. 34). God refused Moses' logical solution. Why? Because changing the Structure does not eradicate human sinfulness. Israel would not suddenly become holy and capable of direct communion with God simply because Moses vanished. God pushed Moses back in front of those exasperating people, back into the burden of a mission that felt heavier than death.
God's answer was not a neat "Solution" to the problem. It was "Redemption"—an act of embracing the contradictions, the absurdities, and even the man named Moses who could become a stumbling block to the people. We try to remove the cause of the problem and change the board, but God leads history by covering all contradictions with His overwhelming embrace.
Moses lived. Instead of the "holy death" he desired, he was granted a "weary life" once more. Carrying the grace of God that embraces even a stumbling block like himself, he had to descend the mountain again. This is God's way, the shadow of Atonement.